(I later learned that melamine ends with a “min” sound, but what the heck.)

‘Tis was a year of craziness
With all kinds of killing business
China had riot, earthquake, and melamine
Terror in Mumbai, and for the rest of the world: subprime

After in-Greenspan-we-trust there came Bernanke
A nice fella from a neighbor of Kentucky
Let’s pray he knows how to salvage our stock
Not as a drunk jockey riding backward in the derby

Mr. Hanky Panky we have a problem
Your alma mater has lost its emblem
Blankfein & Co. bring home no cookie this year
Bet they’re cursing your super-G slalom

You stretched your arms in March, but in September you waved your hands
Bear was saved in a trap, but no such luck for poor Lehman
Dick Fuld may have to sell his houses and paintings
‘Coz his fellow Streeters couldn’t make a stand

For two days his calls for Lewis fell on deaf’s ear
While Ken was smooching with Buzz Lightyear
Mr. Thain saved the Mother from vultures
But he still had to give up his $10m in tears

It sounded a lot when SocGen lost $7 billion
But its trader was a kitten compared to other hellions
Detroit begged for 15 while 85 went down AIG’s throat
But nothing tops TARP’s seven hundred thousand million

Citi didn’t get Wachovia, and my best friend was laid off
Among 50,000 others, after billions of write-off
Even the Oracle had a deal fell through
But his $5b doubled so he’s still better off

In market good and bad, Uncle Bernie delivers 12 percent
Until blue blood spilled from La Villehuchet’s hand
$50 billion over 20 years would make Mr. Ponzi proud
But that’s not what his sons and the SEC can comprehend

Spitzer the prosecuter got hookupped
Blagjo the reformer got phone-tapped
Bleeping golden turns into bleeping nothing
When the muddy basement got mopped

We got a historical president in Obama
Even though New Yorker paints him as Osama
2008 would’ve been a lot more crazier
If the American people had picked the Old Man and the Grandma
YOU BETCHA!!!

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